Running

I've been taking running classes since late spring, and am currently in my third class. Of the women in my group I'm the biggest, and the slowest...but I show up and do my best. I've improved quite a bit and don't huff and puff nearly as much as I did in the beginning. I don't like running while I'm doing it it but I usually feel great afterwards...the whole endorphin high I guess. I also don't tend to lose weight while in the classes, but always lose once I take a break...I guess I eat more because running does tend to increase appetite. The last couple of weeks I went to the mid week social fun run. Most of the people who show up are your serious hard core types who run 4-8 miles in the time it takes me to 2-3 miles. I was most certainly the only person over 200lbs! As it happens a store employee tends to run with the slowest...which is me...so it's like free coaching! I feel a little bit like a fraud among the super in shape, but I suppose we all have to start somewhere and everybody is nice. I will continue to run up until my goal race in December and then, well we'll see! Halloween is this weekend and my costume is going to be a race runner complete with my race number from my last 5K. I'm sure some people will think it's funny but I'll know the truth...that I'm just being cheap as I didn't want to have to bother with the time and expense of a real costume! :)

Day at a fashion show...

I went to a fashion show today; it was sort of like a Tupperware party more than a fashion show…. After they showed everything that they had for sale it was time for the “fun” part, trying on the clothes. I suppose it might be fun if they had all of the sizes that the clothes come in, but they didn’t. The highest size I believe they had was a 12, with most of the samples being in the range of 6-10. There were at least three of us who could have fit into the size 16…maybe. The two other ladies took a more active role in sampling the wares; I opted to simply observe the people instead. Out of the three of us only one of the ladies seemed to have any interest in purchasing anything. I wondered if her purchase was out of a true desire because she liked the items in question, was it more out of a desire to “fit in”, or maybe she felt obligated because of the nature of the gathering?
Now I have never been an advocate of the size acceptance movement, as difficult as it is to lose weight I think everyone who has weight issues should at least try for the benefit of their health. However, failing to have the full range of sizes just seems like bad business on their part. Why would I want to buy something from you if you are going to only have samples in smaller sizes, which will have the effect of making me aware that I am not a size that society feels is generally acceptable?
They also assured the gathering that they would be able to accommodate “husband financing”. Luckily they explained what this was, as I don’t have a husband I was clueless…Apparently it means mixing up payment between cash, credit cards, and check. This is supposed to make it difficult for the hubby in question to figure out just how much the wife has spent. Maybe I’m just being negative here, but it seems like that’s a quaint way of saying we’ll be happy to help spend beyond you means! Truly the American way, instant gratification now and worry about paying for it later. I think that’s why diets are so hard, we get used to eating what we want, eating beyond our needs, and we feel entitled to it! I deserve it! Sadly no about of husband financing will ever shrink the size of my waist…

Control vs. Discipline

Recently I heard something that kind of stuck with me. It was concerning control vs. discipline. The person speaking said that control comes from fear and that discipline comes from love. This concept struck me as profound. It made me think of how one handles dealing with children. I've seen people try to control children before and I don't think it works very well. Usually there where screaming fits and tantrums, and I'm not always talking about the children either...In an effort to control, things sometimes degrade to chaos. Discipline on the hand comes from love; we enforce the rules not always because we want to, but because we know that it is in the best interest of the child. Boundaries must be set and if those boundaries are crossed there must be consequences, that is how children learn. It occurred to me that since I began my journey towards better health three years ago my goal has been to lower my weight by controlling my food. It's worked to a certain extent, up to a certain point. In order to truly reach my goal and to maintain once I get there I need to learn discipline. I need to learn to make my choices from a place of self-love, not simply out of fear. I though a good tool might be a blog, it seems to work for others!